He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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