If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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