Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize