sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
