hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
