Kiss
Puke
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
