Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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