I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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