So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
That's intense
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
