Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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