love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How naked do you want me to be?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize