Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
