where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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