I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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