READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
