Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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