Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
