I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize