i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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