They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
