He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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