I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
