I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
