Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
