Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
