Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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