onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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