I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
