Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
