3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize