it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
