we need to drink 2009 down the drain
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
