i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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