Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
