oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
