i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
