how can u be prego again
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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