You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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