something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
