remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
