if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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