Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
