i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
