Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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