I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I cut my penus on the lid.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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