Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
