i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
