can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
