bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
