Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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