Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
