At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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