Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
