Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
