I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize