I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
