My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
