I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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