just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
