atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
