at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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