In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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